The Most Transparent Man in History

It's true, y'know, in a way, when Court Jester Caroline Leavitt does her tight five set on how Desperately Jealous Timmy is the most transparent US president ever. She's actually right for maybe the first time? That I've seen, anyway.

Because DJT is, utterly, transparent. You can see right through his new clothing, like it wasn't there basically. His aides all swear it's the hottest look from 1986, and that he looks half his age wearing it. It's coloured to match his face, even. But most of us aren't privileged enough to be able to see it.

He's also very transparent in that he says he has "principles" and "knowledge" and "strategy" because of his incredible business career. Transparently lying, as he has never met a principle he didn't want to urinate on. He has no knowledge, because his ego will never allow him to admit he doesn't already know a given concept. Meaning, he's ineducable. It's why he hides his school grades so very, very assiduously.

As to strategy...I direct you to the latest...what did he say? Excursion? To a little place called Iran? Where the people he swore were ignorant savages turned out to be able to judo the US into a submission hold that DJT is too boneheaded to perceive. He doesn't feel the pain, you do.

And they did it on Day 1. All that bombing since? Just making the rubble bounce higher. No air campaign has forced the collapse of a government through civilian terror (cf. World War 1, World War 2, Korea, Vietnam, et c.). To think the proud and ancient Persian civilisation would just roll over and show their bellies was to be completely ignorant of history.

They won because they had a move that put DJT in a submission hold, and he had no counter move at all. Not one. There's only one way to keep that Strait open if Iran doesn't want it open. Conquer Iran. Boots on the ground. Roughly similar numbers of troops. And C-5s full of aluminum boxes coming home in return, leading to a shortage of ceremonial US flags.

It's not actually possible. But that's how it would have to be. If you want the military how and why, I can write it, but you can trust me. I've been studying war and geopolitics since I was 10. Iran won that war immediately. Everything since has been solely for the comfort of Trump's ego, so fragile and threatened. He won't just say "let's negotiate", because he'll look weak. And he won't say, "we lost, can we talk now?" because he'd never survive the narcissistic injury. Nor be the US President who got completely SMOKED in a single day by a country under sanctions for 47 years, after he surprise attacked them (a day that will live in infamy, something something, wasn't it? Pearl Harbor?).

Anyway, that's not Leavitt's only tight five. She's got a bunch of them, as befits a hack comedian who couldn't get a snicker out of a packed hyena cage.

She has one she's done a bunch, about how super important Greenland is, and the media all nod along and report that it wasn't a standup routine, but that it has to do with Russian and Chinese ships looking to invade and occupy it in order to threaten the US...if she heard that on a street from someone wearing dirty clothes, she'd be calling the police about a crazy homeless person high on meth or something talking nuttiness about invasions. I wouldn't, because ACAB.

But Leavitt would. China's going to occupy it.

I see. They're going to sneak a genuinely army-sized force, in dozens of ships, through the North Pacific, into and through the Arctic Ocean, which is only open a few months a year even now...and strand those soldiers on the far side of two entire continents from their homes, AND THEIR SUPPLIES and reinforcements.

Or are they also flying huge airlifts over Canada now? Cause we may not have many fighter pilots, but I'm reasonably sure they could find a more or less solid stream of heavy lift aircraft droning endlessly above the tundra, somehow managing to refuel? along the way, before landing to bring their supplies to Greenland.

Sure, you're thinking, you MAGA floppy-minded fool, "But that ther Rusher, they could do it!" They could do what, pray tell? They could sortie from their always-watched Barents Sea bases, completely unnoticed by the methods specifically designed to do that exact job, and cross into the Atlantic through the still-active GIUK sonar line without being noticed...and they're also going to bring along not the subs that might manage it, but bloody great transports full of soldiers? Right past the coast of Norway? Through the North part of the North Sea? Slip between Iceland and the UK in a fog bank? Totally unnoticed? When a single flight by any aircraft at all could spoil the entire surprise with a single radio call?

And then the UK and Norway will react to this by...just sitting on their hands? Also, where is this mystical Rusher getting its troops from? Because right now 1/4-their-size Ukraine is kicking their frozen butts back to the Rodina, and they can't get enough men into uniform to keep that from happening. So where is this invasion force coming from? Also, again, how does Rusher supply this effort, across three thousand kilometres of hostile seas, patrolled by modern air forces and watched by satellites?

There is no threat. None at ALL. Further, the US has, and has had for about 80 years, full access to the entire island as needed. That's why they have several bases there already, a couple of them still occupied at this moment.

So a made-up threat that is laughable, and a requirement for US "national security" needs. Genuinely? Get real.

Trump IS the most transparent President in history, Leavitt is right about that one thing. You can see right through his motives.

Greenland has mineral wealth. Rare earth minerals, as they're called. The kind the US has surprisingly little access to. They used to get some from Canada, but...oopsy. Store closed to your kind.

And China won't sell them any. And the war in Ukraine's keeping the US from accessing the ones they extorted there. So Donny's butt-bug is that he wants to make huge money off the rare earth resource, without regard for the environment or anything else, and so he needs Denmark and its EU laws OFF the property.

If he can claim it as national security, then he sells it to...whaddayaknow, himself...then he gets to control a major resource the US needs, and retains unreasonable power over the United States. Transparent. Plain as day, what he's up to. He smells money, and he's grubbing about trying to get his hands on it. If along the way he can grab himself some leverage over the wrecked nation he left behind him, he'll take that too, thanks.

It's easy to read Trump. Every world leader knows this. What does he want? Money. And to believe he's well-liked. And respected. And all of those other things he could never actually gain on his own, because see above re: ineducable.

He likes power too, but only insofar as he can use it to gain far more money than he'd ever have dreamt of before becoming Preznit.

Like a nice clean 4" thick piece of ballroom glazing.